Review: How Do We Relationship?

Mickey Lonner, Editor-in-Chief

During my time in Amador Journalism, my hunt for the perfect sapphic novel has been well-documented. I’ve written reviews on plenty of LGBT reads, what I liked, or—more often—what I didn’t like.

That’s why it might come as a surprise to hear me giving a fully positive review of a piece of sapphic media. How Do We Relationship? is a sapphic manga series by Tamifull. The series has two volumes so far with a third coming out in June, and from the very first moment, it has managed to catch my attention. 

The series is about two college girls, Miwa and Saeko, who enter into a relationship of convenience upon realizing that they’re unlikely to meet another lesbian classmate any time soon. At first, there’s little that drives their relationship, but as Miwa and Saeko grow closer, their feelings bloom into something much deeper. As the series progresses, the reader gets to see Miwa and Saeko falling in love, exploring their sexuality, and dealing with plenty of bumps along the road. 

There are so many things I love about How Do We Relationship?, but the thing that comes to mind immediately when I think of the series is the chemistry between Miwa and Saeko. One of my frequent complaints about sapphic love stories is that the characters rarely have any romantic tension. Most of these romances are filled with insta-love that steals any real depth or meaning the relationship could have. How Do We Relationship? does not fall into this trap. On every page, Miwa and Saeko are clearly compatible, and the connection between them is utterly believable. Though they enter into a relationship quite quickly in the series, the slow-build of their feelings leaves the reader feeling satisfied. 

Another thing I loved about this series was the dynamic. Most sapphic relationships in books are between two “femme”, or feminine-presenting, women. This can be a very engaging dynamic when done right, but it nevertheless is frustratingly difficult to find a relationship dynamic that differs from this. In How Do We Relationship?, Miwa is clearly femme, but Saeko presents in a way that is a bit more androgynous. This automatically makes the series seem new and refreshing. 

Moreover, the relationship between Saeko and Miwa is healthy. A surprising amount of relationships in media are riddled with toxicity, but the one between Saeko and Miwa is sweet enough to give me a toothache. The series deals with multiple important issues, but it reaffirms at every turn that consent is vital and any relationship requires mutual trust and communication. It sets an important groundwork for young sapphic girls.

Note: How Do We Relationship? reads from right to left.

Finally, How Do We Relationship? breaks the mold by setting up a plot that doesn’t follow cliches in queer media. Most queer media is oriented around descrimination or coming out, but How Do We Relationship? primarily focuses on the relationship between Miwa and Saeko, with plenty of fun plot shenanigans to keep things interesting. The girls exploring their sexuality in a less-than-accepting world is at most a backdrop, leaving them to navigate their relationship openly around friends and family. 

All-in-all, How Do We Relationship? is probably the best example of a sapphic romance that I’ve read about this year, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a fun LGBT read.